First of all let's define defeat.
Defeat: According to Cambridge dictionaries, defeat is the act of losing against someone in a fight or a competition, or when someone or something is made to fail.
We are humans, defeat is one thing in life that is bound to happen in some circumstances. But what determines our stand in life is what happens after defeat.
Two essential things happens after defeat and it is our choice to chose either of them. But we must choose.
The question is which do you stick to?
Is it Letting your defeat defeat you
Or
Defeating your defeat.
I know now you want to live your life, But my Ernest advice is that you stick to the second one.
Everyone you see today who are top notch in whatever they do failed before. But what really made them who they are was what they sticked to after defeat.
"Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat" ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
"As long as you are Alive no defeat is a final defeat" ~Festus Osas Ighalo
"When defeat comes, accept it as a signal that your plans are not sound, rebuild those plans and set sail once more towards conveyed goal" ~ Napoleon Hill
There is very little distance between success and failure. Sometimes that distance is no more than "one last try". Understand that suffering is not necessarily a bad thing, and often is through hardship that great people are born.
There is a say that people don't realize how much close they are to success before they give up.
"Focus 90% of your time on solutions and only 10% of your time on problems" ~ D'Angelo
Make the best of every defeat. Make a note of lessons learn, people met, advice taken. Maybe with time you'll realize that the long road that took you to the solution was more beneficial than any shortcut you would have taken because the long road taught you a lot.
"Defeat doesn't finish a man, quit does. A man is not finished when he's defeated, he's finished when he quits" ~ Richard M. Nixon
During your life, you might experience a devastating defeat. But if you decide to fight back you will manage to get up on your feet once again and you will become successful. On the other hand, if you decide to give up, then you will end up like most of the broken people out there
The Choice Is Yours.
"You do not become good by trying to be good, but by finding the goodness that is already with you" ~Eckhart Tolle.
As humans we all have "good" that is already embedded in us. The task now is to locate that "good". Locating it maybe very difficult for some people as it was to me. There are things to get rid off in order to identify that good in you and live your life.
FACTORS TO GET RID OFF.
1. Doubt.
According to wiki, doubt is a status between belief and disbelief, it involves uncertainty or distrust or lack of sureness of an alleged fact, and action, a motive, or a decision. So you see being uncertain of yourself is a big hindrance to living your life. If you can't trust yourself, nobody can trust you.
So you need to get rid of doubt. Don't have negative thoughts about yourself. Thoughts like "what if I fail", Thomas Edison failed 999 times but he never gave up. Don't let doubt deprive you from trying.
2. Pleasing People
"I can't tell you the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone" ~ed sheeran
Pleasing people is not bad, but trying to please everyone is one impossible fact. You don't have to sacrifice what you want because you are trying to please someone. They are not the only ones created to live a good life. Learn how to say "NO" sometimes, don't just accept anything. In fact, many people pleaser have low self-esteem. You can listen to others, but ultimately what you do is your choice. Keep a balance, stop basing your self-worth on how much you do for other people. The greatness act of kindness are those done by choice.
If you are helping others in such an extent that you are neglecting yourself, is that really wise?
3. Comparison.
A consideration or estimate of the similarities or dissimilarities between two things or people. Recognize that comparing yourself with others is a bad habit. The engine room of comparison is the "society". Society is extremely successful in being able to brainwash people into believing they should look a certain way, act a certain way, be a certain someone, when in reality every single one of us is different. What society does is to categorise people, and they want you to believe that you have fewer rights to be happy because you do not fit an idealistic lifestyle. Comparing yourself to others is a fine way to throw your self-esteem down the earth, as there will always be people who are better than you, those who are worse than you. Realize that everybody is different. Even identical twins are different from each other. Stop being afraid to be yourself. Be proud of yourself.
"It's better to be the original you than to be a copy of somebody else"
The meaning of your life is what you create day after day with your own actions and thought.
These steps helped me, I believe it can help someone there. Life is a personal race. Don't blame other people if things ain't the way you wish. Nobody is too old to dream, why not live your dream. It's your life.
Live your Life
